It never will matter
by SilverMoon4
Summary: My first song fic. Can't think of a summary to hard to explain in my mind


Authors note: This is my last Invader Zim fan fic on FFN. I will still write but only on my web page.  
Otherwise I have ended my real writing career before it even started. I will finish my other fan  
Fics on there as well, this has nothing to do with Invader Zim being taken off. I am   
Doing this for my own reasons. I am experimenting a new way of writing   
Where the song lyrics are part of the story more than a song. This is also my first song fic. It is also my last.  
It might be my last of anything...  
  
I do not own Invader Zim.  
Or the song I have chosen for this.  
  
I sat back in my chair and began to rock myself back and forth in it. I had been here for ten long years,  
And I grow weary of fighting all the time. I have grown quite well for how small I once was. I now stand  
A nice 5'9" And my currant age in Irken is 27 but to these humans I am 320, I never imagined the  
Time difference… but now I really notice it. My only knowledge of time was the seasons and night  
Becoming day. I have wasted my life away here on this pathetic and sad excuse for a planet. My thoughts  
Drifted to Dib, my arch nemesis, I could never forgive him for anything he has done. And then there  
Is the decision I have thinking about for the past 2 years.   
  
  
*It starts with one thing  
I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind  
I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time  
All I know  
Time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away  
It's so unreal  
Didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know  
Wasted it all just to watch you go  
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when…*  
  
I knew my day was coming, and it wasn't disposing of this planet.  
I couldn't fight forever. I kept this up as long as I could  
But at times it became unbearable.  
  
*I tried so hard  
And I got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter*  
  
I had considered giving up before this but I could never give in.  
I had only one driving force. And it wasn't the best either.  
  
*I had to fall   
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter*  
  
My thoughts drifted to my tallests. All my life revolved around  
Was trying to please them, but it never happened. I even failed to  
Die when that's all this mission was for. I was nothing but a tool to them.  
I have since lost all respect for them. I sometimes wonder what I was  
Created for. Despite the truth I still tried to take over the planet,  
Even though I knew all my efforts would be in vain.  
  
*One thing, I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind  
I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how  
I tried so hard  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so far  
Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then   
But it all comes back to me in the end  
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I*  
  
I couldn't   
Just surrender. No I just had to keep torturing myself. All I have left  
Are the memories of days long since gone, and they will never return.  
  
*I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall   
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter*  
  
I thought I could trust them to bring the armada. Little by little  
I began to realize this was all a sham. I kept going as long as I could.  
  
*I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
And for this   
There's only one thing you should know*  
  
I rested my head on the control panel. My fighting spirit had faded.  
I no longer had anything to live for, I had reached my decision.   
I stood up and headed out the door while checking my  
Disguise, as I set out for my nemesis's home, I inhaled the crisp clear night air as much as possible, and I didn't want to forget it. I remembered  
All my accomplishments. I felt my soul leaving a bit as I didn't know  
What would happen to me.  
  
* I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall   
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter.......*  
  
I glanced up at the winter sky, colors were dancing across the sky, I recognized it as the northern lights.  
The lights reflected off the snow creating a mystic effect upon the ground I stood on. The light reflected off my  
Contacts. I had heard a human legend that those lights were souls traveling from this world to the next. I wondered  
If I would be joining them if it was true. The wind picked up a bit and the cold air burned my face but I didn't pay attention  
To it. This was something I would try to remember for the rest of my life. I continued my journey, The perfect start of a perfect end…   
  
The End.  
  
Review if you want.  
Flame me if you want, I'm so over the deep end I don't give a damn   
About anything anymore. There isn't any way I'm going to give out  
My web page address. Just A note, it is true that you can't fight forever like he did.  
I know first hand what he would be going through. 


End file.
